Notes from the Cafe Fiasco

Public Option

All we've heard from the Republicans for the past 30 years is that government (defined as things non-military) shouldn't be supported because it's so inefficient that it can't get out of it's own way. So why are they so afraid of having a public option in health care that would compete with private insurance? Could it be that the private companies aren't so sure that the government wouldn't be subtantial competition?

David Omar White

It was not the best way to start the day. I read the news over breakfast this morning - that David Omar White had passed away at the age of 82. A full life, but one that came to an end much too soon.

David and I were friends, of a type. One night a couple of years ago I was carrying my portfolio home after a drawing class waiting for the bus in Davis Square and his old guy in a scooter wheeled up to me and asked if I was an artist. I told him that I didn't really consider myself one, but I did enjoy messing around. He said that he was one and he enjoyed messing around too. I asked how long he'd been doing it.  He replied, "All my life."  And we went on from there. Every time that we saw one another he always had something interesting to say and, of course, he was always deep into his current series of paintings.  He had converted his bedroom in in one bedroom elderly housing apartment into a studio (he slept in the dining room) and he spent many happy hours there working on the next project - whatever that was. He was literally surrounded by his work.

David loved art and people and life and he loved to talk about all those things. He was the prototypical old guy with a twinkle in his eye. He'd seen a lot and gone through a lot - not the least of which was ending his life as a disabled person, but he didn't let any of it stop him. He was doing art and he loved it.

Last year, the Decordova Museum in Lincoln had a show of his work and I got to see some of his latest stuff. He was showing a series of fantasy landscapes - long and low. He said that he found landscapes easiest to paint from his chair.  The were incredibly rich visually - layers of three dimensional images dancing with one another. They were very much alive. He was quoted as saying that his favorite painting was always the next one that he was going to do. He never stopped exploring the next thing.

David, like most artists, never earned much from his art. One of the last times that I talked with him we got into a conversation about money and he said that he was grateful that he had a roof over his head, food, and enough money for paint. In fact, the disability that he had had given him an upgrade to being poor for abject poverty and he was grateful for that. And he understood the irony of it as well.

The last time that I saw him was in a diner in Porter Square where we as having lunch. He introduced me to his companions as "a painter" and I was and remain deeply honored. I'm no painter, but he certainly was. I'm going to miss those talks about art on the bus.

Father's Day

Made a trip to visit Dad last Sunday in the cemetery in Rehoboth, Massachusetts. We got there as the gloomy night was coming to the misty wet, thickly green corner of rural Massachusetts and I stood before the rough piece of granite that he had selected as a monument for my mother and him and just said, "Hello." 

No answer back this blustery rain soaked evening. Just a piece of stone with the word "Spriggs" carved at an angle - a rare silence because he speaks to me so often these days. In fact, he's in my head more and more as I get older -  sometimes taking over my better judgement. He and I never agreed on politics, but I have to say that I now understand his point of view more than I ever did.

Of course, he still has a lot to say about being a dad that is lost on me, not having children of my own. At least no biological children. I do have people that I've pushed along the road much as a father would and I am proud of what they have accomplished - much as a father would be. But much of the dad stuff ends here in this cemetery and that has to be acknowledged.

Though a mother's love is always there, a father's approval has to be earned. And earned again and again.  And I've found that this has to be done even when the father is no longer there and only living in your head and spirit.

Lichens are growing on the stone.  He would have liked that.  And he would also have liked the fact that I dropped by to say hello.  But he never would have told me.

Health Care - The Public Option

Seems that the Right loves the idea of competition until large balkanized interests like Health Care Insurers have to compete against the government. Then suddenly it becomes "socialized medicine" (though I can't see anyone saying that folks have to be insured by the government). 

 This is the equivalent of loving mankind and not being able to stand people. The Republicans, being practical folks, love their ideology until it interferes with the ability of their capitalist masters to make obscene profits.

"59"

Every June 8th I awake with two things on my mind:

1)  How did I get so impossibly old?  and

2)  How's Nancy Sinatra doing?  

You see, Nancy and I share a birthday. She's ten years older than I am. So, Nancy shows me the way. This is scary.

By close examination of her official website: (nancysinatra.com) one must come to the conclusion that there's a lot of airbrushing in my future. And a lot of harking back to the hits of yesteryear (Boots!). And a lot of talking about dear old Dad.

I have to admit that it sounds pretty boring to me. Maybe as I enter the anteroom of old age, I should try to invent another old age - more like Frank Lloyd Wright (who was born on this day in 1867) and a lot less like Barbara Bush (born on June 8, 1925). I feel for Nancy, but somehow I don't think that she's going to cut it as a role model for the "Golden Years."

Obama - 120 Days

You know, even though he's been President for four months now, I still am having a hard time believing it.

MLTD - Move Among the Mysteries

As usual Dana Jennings has much interesting to say about cancer: Click Here

MLTD - PSA Roulette - Prostate Symposium

And the quaternary number is:  4.9!

Bad News:  The number is up from 4.6 where is was three months ago.

Good News:  My "doubling time"  is 7.35 years.  This means that the cancer is still very slow growing.

I went to a Prostate Cancer Symposium on Saturday and heard Dr. Peter Carroll speak. He's someone who is very highly regarded in the field and also someone who is doing much of the most interesting studies on the strategic level of the disease (most researchers have their heads down in the genetic code).

What I got from the talk is that this is a time where researchers are just starting to get a handle on the disease and are moving toward methods of treatment that retain some level of quality of life that the current methods just don't do. This has been accomplished to some degree with breast cancer, but not with prostate cancer at this point.

I also got the sense that urologists are coming around to the idea that not all cancers have to be immediately treated (new studies show that for slow growing cancers such as mine, there is no difference in mortality for those of us that wait versus immediate treatment).

Still, I'm swimming upstream here. Only 6% of diagnosed patients opt for "Active Surveillance." Luckily, I have a urologic surgeon who is not knife happy and jokes with me about eating nuts and berries as a cure. He knows that I know that it's not a cure, but he also can't argue with the fact that the cancer hasn't gone much of anywhere over the past two years, so he doesn't bother.  At almost 59 years old, this is the first time in a long time that I've been too young for something.

Of course, I did get the reminder that the big knife is probably coming at some point. The question is when. It would be different if I was diagnosed at 65 when most guys get the news, but I'm too young to ignore it.

So, it's good that I went (even with the periodic terror that things like this engender which keeps me on my toes). I did find out something interesting:  Do you know what is the largest source of mortality for those of us with prostate cancer?  Heart attack. More men with prostate cancer die of cardiac problems than of any other cause. They keel over before the cancer can kill them.

Time to get back on the treadmill and lose some weight.

MLTD - 2 Years In

I wasn't really into getting poked and prodded and stuck this morning for some reason. I know that this process only happens once every three months, but I don't look forward to it. But then, I don't have any choice - I'm a cancer patient.

So we go off to see the urologist even when the juice to cope is low and we're not up to being one of the gazillion members of The Brotherhood That No One Wants To Be a Member Of that are stuffed in a small room at Brigham and Womens' Hospital. And we wait. And wait. Appointments times come and go so easily that you wonder if it wouldn't just be more efficient to do the "take a number" method.

That's until it's our turn to see the doctor and then things go very, very fast - he looks at the file, he tells you what he thinks of the last round of tests, he does an exam, and you're out the door and off to get your blood drawn. Lickity split. And in 48 hours you find out the magic number upon which the your future hangs. I assume that if the number is bad, then the doc gives you a call. If I'm not lucky, I'll find out.

You would think that after 2 years of this, it would be old hat. But, no, I haven't seemed to have lost the stomach churn or the feeling of being a rat caught in some sort of cross between a maze and a chess match. I don't like this, but I have no choice - I'm a cancer patient and the alternative is to step off of the medical map and into totally uncharted territory. I understand why people would do this. The medical system can breed such distrust that people will gamble with their lives to get away from it. It drives people to travel to clinics in Mexico, to order packets of unidentifiable herbals from the internet, or to adopt strange diets based on untested theories.

Why do people do this?  Because the current American health care is organized in such a way that it is increasingly difficult to come to the conclusion that the system gives a damn about the people that it is allegedly designed to serve. People spend billions of their own dollars in "complementary" therapies for no other reason that they want someone to work with them on their health that they trust and that they think actually give a damn about their health. This is not even addressed in standard medical settings except by those who really care about the people that they serve - and they're pretty much being eaten alive by their participation in the machine.

You hear a lot about how the American health care system is broken because it costs too much money and that is true, but you don't hear too much about the real problem - it has no heart anymore. Those of us who are at our weakest are being cared for by a giant machine that no longer has anyone at the controls - at least no one who cares about us. We've all become widgets in the "industry" of health care. That's great for MBA's but not for all of us - at least until the MBA's get sick.

100 Days

Came home after work and turned on the TV.  Brought up the Guide because I wanted to know when President Obama's news conference was.  Here's what I saw:

- NBC - 8pm - Presidential News Conference

- ABC - 8pm - Presidential News Conference

- CBS - 8pm - Presidential News Conference

-  Fox - 8pm - Lie to Me

Guess we know what the people at Fox think about the first 100 days.